Disclaimer: I am an advocate that works in a domestic violence shelter. I am fully aware that men are victims of domestic violence, but in this post I will use feminine pronouns for ease of reading.
You are probably reading this post for one of three reasons:
1.You are currently in a domestic violence relationship struggling with the idea of leaving.
2. You have left a violent relationship but you feel stuck because you cannot move past the fear, trauma, or psychological beat-downs that you are used to. You feel confused because you know that you deserve better but you still feel stuck.
3.You know and love someone in a violent relationship and you are trying your hardest to encourage him or her to leave. It hasn’t been successful thus far, but you are hoping to find some Bible-inspired message of hope that will jolt her enough to make her realize that she was created for so much more.
Created…that word has so much power in it! We were all created by God, the Most High, before we were even thought about by our parents. In Jeremiah 1:5a (NIV) God says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” So what I’m telling you is that God created you for a specific reason, His glory. Isaiah 43:7 (NLT) says, “Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them.” Since God created you for His glory, it stands to reason that He did not create you to stay in an abusive relationship. Listen here my friend, you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” according to Psalm 139:14 (NIV), which means that you are special to God. God created you with a purpose and a goal in mind that has gotten placed on the back burner because you have been in an abusive relationship that has made it hard for you to build a close relationship with God. But until you develop that relationship with God you will never find your purpose.
Please understand, I am not blaming you for being where you are, I just want you to want God more than you want your relationship with your partner. I want you to want God more than you want a place to live. I want you to want God more than you want to feel loved by another person. I want you to want God more than you want any drug or alcohol. I want you to want God more than you want predictability and a false sense of comfort. Once you place God at the head of your life, you will find it increasingly hard to stay in a relationship with anyone who does not treat you with love and respect.
Now it would be negligent of me not to mention that the only way to have this close relationship with God is to be saved and become a born-again Christian. There is no way to form this relationship or to realize why God set you apart until you take this step. I encourage you to begin reading the Bible and learn about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I also need you to find a church home where you can be saved and taught the Word of God.
Ask yourself this question, “Who am I?” The correct answer is that you are a child of God, which makes you the daughter of the King of all kings, which means that you are royalty. Ephesians 1:5 (NLT) says, “God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.” Galatians 3:26 (NIV) states, “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.” It is your time! You can no longer deny your heritage. You are royalty! It is time to carry yourself as royals do. Royals have clear cut boundaries that have consequences if crossed. As a daughter of a King, you have to realize that you are out of place and run back to the Kingdom.
Now that you know who you are, you need to figure out how to get out of the relationship that Satan wants you bound to. Satan wants you to feel helpless so that you don’t leave this relationship, he wants you to feel guilty about leaving your partner, and he wants you to feel responsible for the abuse. Don’t let Satan trick you! The longer you stay in this relationship, the longer Satan has you right where he wants you, and the more time he has to devise more schemes to keep you in the relationship. Remember, Satan’s ultimate goal in your life is to keep you separated from your loving Father.
It is time to pick up your crown again! It’s time for you to take control of your life. You may feel like this is an impossible task, but because Jesus has already overcome the world you have victory over this relationship. You just have to walk in your victory. Now I’m going to tell you to pray about it, and I’m sure you have. But I need you to pray that God shows you specific strategies to exit the relationship safely. Pray that God reveals people in your life who you can trust and who are willing to help you, even if you don’t know them yet. Pray that God gives you the courage to reach out to these people without being fearful, prideful, or ashamed. Tell God that you know that He “did not give you the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). So ask God to manifest the spirit of courage, the spirit of power, and the spirit of love (self love), and the spirit of a sound mind. Pray for deliverance from evil and from the temptation to stay. Pray that once you leave, God continues to “supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). Pray for forgiveness of your sins. Ask God to renew and purify your mind and body with the blood of Christ Jesus. When you pray, know that I have come into agreement with you.
After you pray, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). You can also go to their website at www.thehotline.org. They can help you plan your exit safely (safety plan), help you find shelters in your area, and help you find domestic violence counseling in your area. If you are a friend or family member of an abused person, there is a lot of great information for you on this website as well.
Remember my friends, faith without action is dead. So it is great that you prayed, but it is necessary that you take action too. It is time that you begin to see yourself as God sees you. God sees you as royalty.
If you have any questions please ask below.